Since when?

Apparently, I’m socially awkward.  Yeah, its weird.  When did this happen, you ask?  I’m really not sure.  Maybe after high school when I lost touch with friends or maybe when I immersed myself with family life after two kids.  I don’t know.  Either way, it happened.  And for the most part, I really hate it.  I mean, when you talk to lots of people on a regular basis, yet no one calls or texts you when you get home, ever, it can make you bonkers.  Because of this, I’ve tried to do a little self-evaluating.  I’m not above the notion that something is wrong with me or my attitude.  When I was in school growing up, I always had friends.  I prided on the fact that I had numerous buddies to sneak and pass notes to in class or sit with at lunch or even spend the weekend with.  I found little pockets of people who were like me, and we hung out.  We always had fun things to do, and I mean fun in a good and bad way.  My definition of fun now is a lot different from then, but it still has one common denominator: friends.  Now as a 34 year old mom, I feel like an outcast, socially awkward, and  different.  My husband is a great companion and he is my best friend, but I need girl friends.  Ladies who understand my life and want to share theirs with me.  Ladies to have coffee with or share a bag of popcorn with at the movies.  Is that so much to ask?  I’ve tried to hit it off with co-workers, and there are some surface friendships, but nothing bone deep.  I miss those friendships that you swear your friend must be your long lost sister from another life.  I miss being able to call or text about things that matter and laugh about those that don’t.  People at work say I’m really nice, and they’re so glad I work there (the last guy was a jerk), but I’m not invited to the weekly Friday take-out club.  The one time I did get to partake of this exclusive group was when I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.  They were in the middle of ordering Jason’s Deli and I just asked if I could order too.  They said yes, but they’ve never asked me if I wanted to order out since then. It hurts, but what can you say?  Please invite me, please invite me!  I’m 8 years old again not getting a birthday invitation and everyone else did.  That really didn’t happen, but you see my point.

Now, I’m sitting here wondering why I wrote this.  I’m dumping on you, ol’ sweet reader, and I’m sorry.  I know life is too short to worry about such things,  and darn it I’ve wasted three minutes of yours.  The one true friend, the one tried and true friend I still have and always will unless something horrible debilitates me is writing.  It frees my demons and makes me feel human, flawed and glorious.  Now, if I can just figure out when I have time to do that between the now three kids, two jobs, and married life… I will be fine. I hope.

Friendship Disconnect Brought To You By Facebook

Image“Are you coming to the lake on the Fourth?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.  Why?”

“Oh.” An uncomfortable pause followed by the next idiotic statement.  “We’re having a get together.  Didn’t you see it on Facebook?”


Last November, I deleted my personal Facebook page, and conversations like these are becoming increasingly more frequent.  “Oh, I thought I invited you,” or “Why didn’t you come to my house-warming party?”  I hear this all the time.  And frankly, it used to piss me off.  Now, I just laugh and say, “Call me next time.”

Don’t get me wrong.  Facebook is a lovely place to meet folks you haven’t seen in forever, or talk with your great-aunt ya-ya who lives in Alaska.  But to rely solely on social media to converse with your friends and family (yes, I said FAMILY) is impersonal and a jerk thing to do.

In actuality, I’ve become a good old-fashioned homebody who would love nothing more than to sit at my laptop and finish editing my writing.  But it doesn’t change how I feel about the situation.  I miss hearing from my friends.  What happened to a phone call where you actually hear your friend’s voice, or even a text if that suits those of us who hate it when your phone sticks to your face from yaking so long?

Maybe I’m rambling about nothing, but it still doesn’t ease the sting when your friends forget you exist.  I know what you’re going to say.  Call or text them first.  But I will counter your suggestion and say that I have.  Numerous times.  It doesn’t work.  I’m lucky if I get a text in return.  They keep on “Facebooking” and I stay in the dark.

I can see some of you shaking your head. “Make another profile and quit your whining!”  But you wouldn’t believe the amount of work I get done now that I don’t have that dreaded ball and chain lurking behind my word document.  Believe it or not, I like the freedom.  Makes me feel like a rebel.  On the other hand, I don’t like losing my friendships in the process.

I’m going to go on as a former Facebooker, and say, do us all a favor.  Call a sister up next time!

A Character Speaks

scary manIt wasn’t supposed to be like this.  She should have stayed with her angel and not thought twice about me.  I’m no good for her or anybody for that matter.  Who did she think I was anyway?  Girls like her need to stay faraway from killers like me.  We make terrible boyfriends.  Every time I look into her eyes, I want to kill every male for a hundred miles. Slit their throats and gut their bellies like a pig on a slab.  And the winged bastards?  They’re first on my list.  I’ll have every wing that even thinks about touching a hair on her precious head.  She’s better than them.  Better than all of us really. But I can’t let her love me.  Heaven’s price on my head is greater than all of the gold in Fort Knox, and hell’s flame burns hotter for me everyday.  And by God, I won’t let her follow me there.  Not for anything in the world.

Staying On Track

Finding time to write is not always an easy task.  And for writers like me, it can sometimes feel like the world is dead set against you writing a single sentence.  So to increase my writing pace, I’ve decided to try the Magic Spreadsheet.  I found out about this tool listening to the podcast “I Should Be Writing”  hosted by Mur Lafferty.  Oh, and if you aren’t listening to Mur, you should be.  Anyhow, the Magic Spreadsheet works by writing a minimum of 250 words a day.  By doing this, you can write a novel of 90,000 words in a year. No excuses!  Also, there is a point system.  You earn point for writing at least 250 words and a point for writing consecutively each day.  If you want to try it with me and the rest of Mur’s listeners, all you have to do is find the instruction tab on the spreadsheet, read it, and then find an empty line to add your name. Happy writing!



Pump Up Your Writing: Using Strong Verbs

11Pump Up Your Writing: Using Strong Verbs

Careened. Slashed. Plummeted. Stalked.  All verbs that turn your mediocre sentences into full-blown power houses. In this article Debbie Maxwell Allen gives some great advice about when to find and insert great verbs to beef up that plain, old manuscript.  She also provides links to other webpages, which are great resources for those va-va-voom verbs!